What Are My Options? - Adoption
When you first learn that you are pregnant, there are many feelings, emotions, and questions to try and sort out. The most important question you’ll need to ask yourself is, “What are my options?” Moving forward, you have three common choices to consider: parent the baby yourself, consider an abortion, or make an adoption plan. Figuring out which option is best for you involves learning more so you can make an informed decision, and we at Life Forward are here to help you on your journey.
We have a team of medical professionals that you can talk to and ask questions. They will provide some answers but will encourage you to get direction from your prenatal healthcare provider. We also have experienced Client Educators who are trained, willing to listen, and provide a safe and neutral environment. We want you to feel heard and understood as you share intimate thoughts and feelings. Please reach out to Life Forward to get started today!
In this article, we will focus on the option of making an adoption plan and highlight some of the most important elements of the adoption process. Part of that includes dispelling some misunderstandings about what adoption actually is. You may have heard phrases before like “putting your child up for adoption” or “giving your child up for adoption.” These phrases are dated and paint an incorrect, negative picture. The modern reality is much more inviting, even for mothers who would never have considered adoption. Over the last few decades, adoption has changed and become another form of parenting. So, what does modern adoption look like?
What Does Modern Adoption Look Like?
Previously, there were three main methods of adoption. These include:
Open - An open adoption is when you, as the biological mother, choose the parents who adopt your child and have a relationship with them even as your child grows up. This allows you to see your child and be involved in his or her life.
Semi-Open - A semi-open adoption is when you choose the parents of your baby and maintain a distanced relationship with them. You will receive pictures and updates of your child as they grow, but will not have any direct contact or communication with him or her.
Closed - A closed adoption is when your identity is protected, so you do not have any interaction or knowledge of the parents adopting your baby. Therefore, you are not updated on where your baby ends up and do not have a relationship with them.
However, adoption is now viewed as more of a spectrum because biological parents can choose how much involvement, contact, and continued relationship they have with their child’s family during and after pregnancy. It’s not one or the other, but more what the biological parents want and are comfortable with. In this way, adoption offers flexibility and control depending on your desires.
Many pregnant women do not consider adoption because they are concerned about the level of contact they will be allowed to have with their child. However, with these current systems, adoption can be a form of parenting for you, and you can decide how much contact you have with your child.
It’s also important to mention that many people often confuse adoption with foster care, when the two are actually entirely different. Foster care occurs after a baby is born and the state assumes custody because of various concerns. If your baby is taken into foster care, you have no control over what happens to them or where they end up. This is not the case with an adoption plan. In adoption, you get to choose the placement and level of involvement and communication you have with your child and their family.
Now that you know more about what adoption is and how it has changed from the past, it’s time to explore some of the specific parts of the adoption process.
What You Need to Know About the Adoption Process
Adoption can be a great parenting option, especially if you are worried about parenting your baby alone. You have the final say in how you want the adoption to go and how involved in your child’s life you’ll be. Here are some of the steps in the adoption process:
Make an Adoption Plan - After you’ve decided that you’re interested in pursuing adoption, the next step is to make an adoption plan. Do you want to choose the parents for your baby? Do you want to be involved in your child’s life as they grow up? How much? What is best for you and your situation? These are all questions that will help you form an adoption plan.
You can also work with an adoption professional to help you with your plan and the other steps in the adoption process. They can help you reach the best answers and make the process much simpler. Additionally, you can reach out to Life Forward to learn about other services that can help you create as you create an adoption plan.
Find an Adoptive Family and Get to Know Them - Depending on the kind of adoption you want, the next step may be to find a family for your baby. Your adoption professional will help you find the best places to view potential adoptive family profiles. After you’ve found a potential family, you should get to know them and start building a relationship if you want to be involved in your child’s life. This way you will feel comfortable and confident in your decision.
Give Birth and Take Time to Recover - When the moment comes, it’s time to go to the hospital and give birth to your baby. You should spend as much time as you want with your baby before placing them with their new family. You can even still change your mind for a short time after giving birth if you’d like to parent your baby yourself.
You should also take plenty of time to recover physically, mentally, and emotionally after giving birth and officially having your child adopted. Take the time you need to recover from this experience. There are many different options available for support during this time and you can reach out to Life Forward to learn more about them.
Continue Your Relationship with Your Child and Their Family - Depending on your ability and desire to be involved in your child’s life, you can choose what is best for you: to cease contact with your child’s adoptive family, maintain some contact, or continue your relationship with them, being able to watch your child grow and be a part of their life. You will be able to talk with your child, build a relationship, and still be a parent to them.
The main thing to understand with adoption is that you have options. While raising a baby alone may seem difficult, adoption offers an alternative parenting choice that allows you to still have your baby, but also be flexible with how involved you are in raising him or her.
How Life Forward Can Help
At Life Forward, we help women and their families make life-affirming decisions through God’s love. We offer services to help you during your pregnancy like education and support, including our Upward and Momentum parenting education programs, consultation, pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and referrals to other community services at no cost to you. Our staff of trained Client Educators and medical professionals will assist you and connect you to the resources and help you need. These resources can help you be more prepared during your pregnancy and make the best decision for yourself. Learn more about the services we offer or contact us at 513.961.7777 to schedule an appointment today!